If working in the wedding industry has taught me anything, it’s that bonds between brides are built and made strong by sharing stories about our successes, failures, and everything in between. Well gather ‘round, all you excited offbeat brides-to-be, and let me share a memory or two about my own unique wedding. (Here’s where we do the Wayne’s World camera-goes-wavy-to-indicate-a-memory thing.)
Cast your mind back to a land before time... almost. More like a land before wireless internet. It was 1998, and I was a headstrong 21-year old San Franciscan who had fallen in love with my teenage fantasy. He was 26, a writer from East London with a vast knowledge of Simpsons quotes and a penchant for patent leather. We were a pair of gothic club kids that met when I was in England for a few months and had clicked instantly. We spent the next two years following each other back and forth across the Atlantic, until he proposed one night on the dance floor (during a Depeche Mode song.) It was perfect.

My experience with wedding planning was not destined to be the elaborate, years-long feat that it is for some brides. We were are both incredibly non-traditional and he only had six months before his visitor’s visa expired and he had to go back to the UK. So my list was simple: pick a date, get a license, find someone to perform the wedding. And of course, find something fabulous to wear. The rest, in my mind, was just details.
Now, this may make the more detail-oriented among you cringe. You know, the ones who realize the enormity and magnitude of what a wedding entails BEFORE their actual wedding day. Looking back, though, it turns out I was right. Despite my charmingly naive approach to the whole thing, I had still managed to cut to the heart of the matter: I love this man, and I want to stay with him. What do I need to do to make that happen?

The details took care of themselves somehow. We got married in my parents’ living room by a friend’s father who was also a very liberal minister. (I think we paid him a hundred bucks and a nice bottle of wine.) My mom made the cake, my dad took the pictures, and after the ceremony we had a party at the house with our friends and family. I didn’t cry (out of frustration or anger) or throw up that day, two of my unspoken sub-criteria for a successful wedding. And as for wearing something fabulous... I think the photos speak for themselves. That top hat is full of WIN.

Some people look at my wedding pictures and shake their heads or laugh. Others wring their hands and wonder how I could have taken something like PLANNING MY WEDDING so lightly. My retort is that I had a great day with my loved ones, and at the end of it I still ended up a wife. How would it have been better if I had exhausted myself trying to put on a performance and please an audience?
To the brides-to-be out there who are stressing about your wedding, worrying if it will live up to your expectations (or the expectations of others), please heed this gentle reminder: this day is about you and your beloved, not anyone else. Have fun and celebrate your love in the way that suits you best. Strive for a day that you’ll look back on and smile. Take care of the important stuff and the details will take care of themselves.

About the Author
Erin McLauchlan is the newest addition to the Bon Moment team. She supports Maureen and Denise with graphic design, production, blog articles, and to learning about the wedding industry. A world traveler who now lives in the Great northwest, she's a self-proclaimed alterna-girl and a word nerd. That’s Erin in a nutshell. Wait, how did she get into this nutshell?

Labels: alternative wedding, Erin McLau, real weddings